new year's eve

well. i think the whole new years day celebration is pretty lame. years come and go and really, there's no point in staying up and celebrating and counting down to tomorrow. i remember the only time i was really like anxiously waiting for the new year was in the year 2000 with all the y2k bug and everything.

yet, i admit, i like to stay up every year till, twelve midnight, and wish a few people. well. because the new year does mean that the slate is wiped clean and you have a brand new year ahead of you to do whatever that is you want to. in that way, it is pretty significant. well. it does seem rather contradictory but oh well. i am rather contradictory.

oh yea. that thing directly below, its for a limited time only because i'm starting to spot a lot of flaws in it. maybe until tomorrow. haha. happy new year everyone! i hope you will be able to achieve everything that you set out to do. whee.

crystal

you know how sometimes when your life is pretty smooth sailing? then suddenly some new person enters into your life and totally turns it upside down. the person need not be someone close to you. he can enter the life of someone close to you and then the damage will be done. of course you have a god given ability to adapt. but me? the stubborn idiot that i am? that makes things harder.

so it was on one average day that i decide to get a time out and think things through. i get my pack, stuff in a few things and leave the house. it was a pretty dark day. mainly because of the rain. had to brave the rain for a few blocks before i finally reach the bus stop. i dont really look back. i just keep going east for no obvious reasons. you know maybe get to the coast watch the sunset and maybe join a few friends who were staying over at the chalet? usually i would plan my route since i'm not really a know-it-all when it comes to bus routes. but now it was an impromptu journey. i took one bus and at the end of that route i took another from the bus depot which would take me to the seaside. if i forgot to mention, i left my house in the evening, so by the time i took the second bus it was already dark and still raining. very heavily. i realised i was the only one waiting for that bus. well that was logical. i mean who would want to go to the beach in a weather like that? well, it was too late to just turn back now. maybe the rain would stop by the time i get there. the route did look long too.

the bus pulled in. it got on and caught glimpse of the bus driver. he looked strange to say the least. his skin was so pale with a tinge of grey that you could almost mistake him for a dead body. but he was wearing some really cool shades (at night?) and some black coat (the kind which you dont see bus drivers wearing). it was a cold night so i didnt think much about. surprise surprise, i was the only one in the bus. i find a seat somewhere in the middle near the window and make myself comfortable. i could barely see the outside considering the amount of raindrops were falling. i could only see the lights of the streetlamps and approaching vehicles.

i started to feel woozy. you know, i hadn't slept at all the night before. the lights outside the bus began to get warped. the familiar yellow lights began to get replaced with greens and blues and reds. probably my imaginations. my eyes began to close.

"HEY KID!"

i jumped up. i don't know how much time had passed since i closed my eyes, whether it was a few seconds or hours. wait, it couldn't be hours. the bus driver would have chased me away. i looked around. still empty. but this time, someone was sitting with me. he looked like what? in his early thirties? and he looked rather familiar too.

"Whats the matter? sit down kid."

sheepishly i sit down. "Why'd you wake me up? i didnt notice you getting on." after the initial shock, i was rather irritated.
"kid, you look half dead. how do you expect to notice when i get up? besides, i was bored. needed to talk to anybody."

i was puzzled. "do i know you?"
"that is the same question i wanted to ask you when i saw you kid. you look really familiar. anyways, are you running away from home or something?"

looking out, i only saw pitch black and more rain. the only lights outside were from the headlamps of the bus. not even the occasional car. the road was empty.
"kid?"

"no i'm not, why do you think so?"

"because its late and you don't look old enough to be living on your own."

"no, i just needed some time alone. besides, i'm going to sleepover with some friends."

i don't know why i was even talking to him. i don't usually talk to strangers at all but there was something, warm and comforting about him. there was silence, besides the loud drumming of the bus engine.
"so, where you going?" i asked.
"me? nowhere! i'm a free spirit. wandering around wherever i choose to go. it seems i found my way back home."
"you live around here?" i quering trying to look outside for any signs of habitation.
"used to. anyway, it wasnt exactly here but more like in this country."

i tried to look at him without making it seem like i actually was. he had a silver chain clutched in his hand. on the chain was probably the most beautiful crystal and silver pendant i had even. like really. if i could, i buy it for my future wife or something and just so you know, i'm not really attracted to jewellery in the first place. that pendant was special. for some strange reason.

"cool chain, whats it for?"
"oh this? its a good luck charm. i found it many years ago on a day just like this in a pile of mud when i got off a bus. sometimes it works, and sometimes, it screws up at the wrong time. i keep it with me all the time."
"looks very nice."

more silence. but i think this time the guy was thinking about something. its like the look on his face tells you he is going to pour out his life story to you or something. true enough i think he did.

"you know this chain has been with me through a lot of shit. you know when i was a student, i did pretty okay. got the good grades and all that. went to a good university. but grades weren't everything. i was this quiet average guy. didn't really have a lot of presence. too shy to talk to people. acting like an idion around my crush and doing the silliest of things. i was like a big wuss. and sometimes that seriously sucks you know."

i chuckled. i didn't know why. maybe it was out of empathy. "tell me about it. i kind of know how you felt," i found myself replying.

"hah. you think. but you really don't. i got out of school. got a great job. moved out of my parent's house, away from my parents who were driving me nuts in their personal quest to get me married. the job was good you know. good money. but even there i wasn't happy. people took advantage of me. made me do their work. i tried to do something about it but i just could not stand up for myself see? i just couldn't bring myself to just tell the people who pissed me off to f*** off. nah. i just lived with it. hoping someday that everybody would change."

"ouch." that was all i could say. it did seem quite sad. the bus wasn't stopping at any stops which seemed highly unusual. but then again the bus was going in some completely deserted road. but hey, that was highly unusual too. but the guy's story seemed too interesting for me to worry about all that.

"yeah. but then one day, i met Crystal. from the moment i met her i knew that she was the one. really. it wasn't just her looks. it was her personality, her really really nice way with people. the day i saw her, i fell in love. i was ready to do anything for her and i just wanted to marry her. that was how much she meant to me."

"what happened? did you two get together?"

"never happened. we got along perfectly. but i could never approach her and tell her how i really felt. i couldn't make myself. she probably thought we were just really good friends. it went on like that for a few years. then i heard she was going away from the country for a long time. i couldn't bear to be away from her. i quit my job and left my home after her. after the same thing for a few years, i finally got my act together. i was going to tell her i loved her. but then, she just disappeared. i never saw her after that. i searched everywhere, travelling from place to place, country to country. sometimes she would call me and ask me how i was. she would tell me that she cared alot for me and told where she was staying. i'd go to that place only to find her gone. a few weeks later, another call, another country. fives years went by just like that. now, here i am. back where i started. she was always one step ahead of me and i could never catch up.
ironic isn't it? the day i change myself was the day i felt the biggest loss in my life. "

the guy sighed. it must've been painful for him. i just hoped that he wouldn't start crying or rob me when my guard was down. but i doubt he was lying. there was truth in his eyes.

"hey kid. don't ever make the same mistake i did. take charge of your life. don't let people push you around and take advantage of you. and when you see someone you think you love, tell her. or at least do something. don't procrastinate or delay. it'll screw up your life just like it did mine. you have no idea how much i've suffered and how much i've tried to somehow change my life. remember this kid. remember it good."

"i will." that was all i could say. i mean i didn't want to hurt his feelings or anything. i don't know. but then, i felt so sleepy, i felt my eyes closing again. i tried to pry them open but it was of no use. its hard to stop the descent into deep sleep especially when your body really needs it.

i jolted awake and looked around me. the guy was gone. and outside, i could see cars on the road and houses along it. it was still raining heavily though but everything looked considerably much more normal. i probably missed my stop. so i got up with my things, checking if he had stolen anything. nothing was missing. i alighted at the next top and just sat there, thinking about my next course of action. i could wait for the rain to stop and take a nice long stroll to the beach. or maybe i could take the bus back to my stop. it was then i notice something glinting in the mud under a street light. risking getting soaked in the rain, i dashed out and grabbed it.

it was a silver chain with a crystal pendant.

if you actually read through everything, thank you. (: it was just some bad writing i penned down during my absence. haha.

disbanded

imagination is something very powerful. i got to exercise that tool to a large extent these past few days. from the bus that takes the route to the land of dreams, to hunting foul heretics with small custom water guns, to even confronting and purging the evil that lies within the worn and abandoned walls of an old hospital.

it would take ages to list down a full account of all happenings. so i shall not. save us the trouble of you getting bored to death. but i do have something to share though, which i will do once i get the time.

though the intense pressure on my physical and mental self mainly caused by a great lack of sleep, i apologize for any weird incidences and if i gave a general impression of totally ignoring you & not responding to you.

of course, on the archery Christmas party thing, i was supposed to deliver some goods to two particular people. one person escaped early before i could even approach the person and make the delivery and thus complicating things. the other seemed rather down with some problems and i feel happy to make the person feel slightly better. yay.

finally.

Digital Love

Last night I had a dream about you
In this dream I'm dancing right beside you
And it looked like everyone was having fun
the kind of feeling I've waited so long

Don't stop come a little closer
As we jam the rythm gets stronger
There's nothing wrong with just a little little fun
We were dancing all night long

The time is right to put my arms around you
You're feeling right
You wrap your arms around too
But suddenly I feel the shining sun
Before I knew it this dream was all gone

Ooh I don't know what to do
About this dream and you
I wish this dream comes true

Ooh I don't know what to do
About this dream and you
We'll make this dream come true

Why don't you play the game ?
Why don't you play the game ?

well finally. after weeks of hearing that damned nokia 5300 advertisements, i sought that song they were playing. and behold, thanks to plan, i have finally found it and listened to it! its by daft punk btw. and its so danceable that i just feel like dancing. hahahahahahaha.

yesterday night, a simple "how did you spend christmas day today?" question spawned an hour plus long mind blowing sharing and discussion of religious content and issues in the world. hmmm.

well, next three days will be very busy. training, shopping for cooking utensils, class chalet, official training, archery christmas thing, blaeke chalet?, and other random stuff before aas on friday. whoops. technically, i ought to be training a hell for it. but there really isnt much time. and you know, maybe since i come back very well rested, i become godlike on friday and get my first medal. hahahahahahahaha.

christmas

well. it all began when alan invited me to watch a play. i was like okay. 1.5 hours. not a bad way to spend a holiday. so i met up with him in sembawang and we walked to victory family center. it was there that i learned that it was actually an outreach sessions. hmm. that changes things. but okae. open mind and respect the proceedings.

it began allright. a few Christmas carols that i sang abit here and there, clapping my hands with everyone else. i met the smiles of the people sitting near as i wished them a blessed Christmas. the play started. it was interesting. mixed with lotsa Christian elements (durh!). well. i saw the story of Christmas enacted by very cute kids.
at the end of the play, there was this session where a lady came on stage and started sharing with us.

she wasnt born a Christian. and she shared with us the emptiness that she felt in life. and subsequent years when converting gave the strength to stand up to life's problems. she asked for people in the crowd to close their eyes and open up their heart to God. my beliefs were steadfast, considering i was listening to a different aspect of the same thing. however, as i was reflecting i realised that i wasnt living up to my beliefs very well. i wasnt fulfilling my obligations well enough. and at that moment, i made a few resolutions and vows. i left the place very much happier and alot more content.

ultimately, its different aspects of the same thing. thats why i felt happy for those who stood up. at least they are no longer ignorant.

well. to be honest, i think i ended up gaining alot more than i had expected.
needless to say, this was the most meaningful Christmas in my life. and it was in a rather intriguing way. if you didnt really understand the above, err, sorry, i'm not always good at articulating my thoughts. hee.

Merry Christmas! well, whats left of it. haha.

bubbles

okay. right now i am utterly spooked. saw this at some random place and it looked interesting. but seriously.

paths

the shortest path is not always the best.

merry christmas! (:

cards

well. i still remember a few months ago. just before promos. i sat down and scribbled a card of thanks to an evil-in-a-rather-good-way-who-was-partially-involved-in-the-biggest-screw-up-for-me-in-jc friend of mine. i saw the friend in the morning as i did everyday in the same table. my hand stayed. the card never left my file and i think its still there unless i ripped it up in my sleep.

damn. cant get new phone since contract doesnt expire or something till january.

well. this time i should at least give some people stuff that i acquired in my recent absence. well. a quarter of the trouble is over since i've told some people. the remaining quarter is to give it to them and the remaining people is to tell some other people. so erm, strange.

kabul express was nice. glad i rushed to watch it with the other two As

coming

The Day the Saucers Came

That day, the saucers landed. Hundreds of them, golden,
Silent, coming down from the sky like great snowflakes,
And the people of Earth stood and stared as they descended,
Waiting, dry-mouthed to find what waited inside for us
And none of us knowing if we would be here tomorrow
But you didn't notice it because

That day, the day the saucers came, by some coincidence,
Was the day that the graves gave up their dead
And the zombies pushed up through soft earth
or erupted, shambling and dull-eyed, unstoppable,
Came towards us, the living, and we screamed and ran,
But you did not notice this because

On the saucer day, which was the zombie day, it was
Ragnarok also, and the television screens showed us
A ship built of dead-man's nails, a serpent, a wolf,
All bigger than the mind could hold, and the cameraman could
Not get far enough away, and then the Gods came out
But you did not see them coming because

On the saucer-zombie-battling gods day the floodgates broke
And each of us was engulfed by genies and sprites
Offering us wishes and wonders and eternities
And charm and cleverness and true brave hearts and pots of gold
While giants feefofummed across the land, and killer bees,
But you had no idea of any of this because

That day, the saucer day the zombie day
The Ragnarok and fairies day, the day the great winds came
And snows, and the cities turned to crystal, the day
All plants died, plastics dissolved, the day the
Computers turned, the screens telling us we would obey, the day
Angels, drunk and muddled, stumbled from the bars,
And all the bells of London were sounded, the day
Animals spoke to us in Assyrian, the Yeti day,
The fluttering capes and arrival of the Time Machine day,
You didn't notice any of this because
you were sitting in your room, not doing anything
not even reading, not really, just
looking at your telephone,
wondering if I was going to call.

Neil Gaiman

i dont know about you. i think this is a brilliant poem from his book. i never expected the ending. i got it from a website he wrote for. hopefully he wont sue me? everytime i look through it, i imagine it being sung in a The Humpty Dumpty Love Song tune. i try to put the words in but it just doesnt come out right.

if you havent read any of his works, its really a pity. oh yea. btw, i'm back. teehee.

laaaalalala

farewell my friends. i travel into the unknown and the uncontrollable and will hopefully be back. hee.

dear dear.

well. tomorrow is the day. maybe i might have time to update once more. but that depends. today was a rush. playing soccer in the morning with some friends. rushing home to convert alot of videos for use in my player. i predict the psp will be a godsend. but time will tell. its a very nice ceramic white. very matching with my other white gadget. but, the psp isnt really mine. more like borrowed on long term loan.

i have been thinking you see. it seems that in twenty days, i'll be having loads of regrets over things that i will not be able to do. but then again, after looking through some of the things, a voice inside my head screams out at me.
"AZRIN you dolt! you could've done half those things had you not been so wuss!"
well. that figures. but would i just give it a miss? those twenty days? not a chance. it'll probably be the dumbest thing i'll ever do. like err seriously. so i guess its a give and take situation. i do wish it didnt have to be so long. but well, my parents have a way of taking a very very very long time to do things.

at least i got to see some of my friends. i doubt i'll be missed much, after all, its only twenty days. (but that doesnt make me hope people do. teehee.) whats that? aww. of course i know you'll miss me kaptain. haha. just remember that lunch you owe me. haha.

bugger. TheVarnus probably abit angry with me. rightfully so. conisdering i wasnt able to play CoH with him today. not my fault. the lan connection in my home network screw up abit. by the time i fixed it, he had gone for hockey bbq. lol.

haiz. better go and charge all my things.

lazarus

Check this out. i wont mention who it is by until you've actually scrolled through it. muahahaha.

Lazarus

As the cheerless towns pass my window
I can see a washed out moon through the fog
And then a voice inside my head breaks the analogue
And says

"Follow me down to the valley below
You know
Moonlight is bleeding from out of your soul"

I survived against the will of my twisted folk
But in the deafness of my world the silence broke
And said

"Follow me down to the valley below
You know Moonlight is bleeding from out of your soul"

"My David don't you worry
This cold world is not for you
So rest your head upon me
I have strength to carry you"

(Ghosts of the twenties rising Golden summers just holding you)

"Follow me down to the valley below
You know
Moonlight is bleeding from out of your soul
Come to us Lazarus
It's time for you to go"

yeap. thats it. this song is by porcupine backside, eh wait, i mean porcupine tree. this song is one of the very few songs by this group which i have listened repeatedly to, ergo, i like this song. the lyrics are, erm, open to debate. as i have not listened to the rest of the album, i do not know if it is part of a greater story. but anyway, the tune is sweet.

oh well. this is the second last post i will be making before i will be leaving on an obligatory hiatus.

a: these wires are entangled.
b: stand up! you are probably sitting on some wires. they are not entangled.
a: okay. you come and see.
b: look here, just loosen up these wires, straighten them up and there you go.
b: and i suppose that wasnt entangled?

erm. i doubt anyone would've understood that. but nevermind.

todays training was very productive. i got promoted to thirty metres by koach! haha. yay. but of course, i got burnt to crisp. damn, someone should bring back those shelters. after training and james bond, i courted with the "depression" again and left $35 poorer. hee.

pizzas

i think i'm abit sick of pizzas already. after the archery lunch, i went home to find that mum didnt cook dinner. so she decided to order pizza! omg. pizza for lunch dinner and the leftovers for next morning's. thats enough to make anyone sick. hmm.

something secret

we are surrounded by chaos. there is not much we can do but to embrace it. and yet, even in such a mess there is an unseen order that has been laid before us. a path that few would be able to notice. something secret steers us all. and its very comforting to know that. that someone is watching over you. it makes you stronger.
the orbifold reflects this very well in terms of the actual music and the setting it was played in. thats why i like it so much.

besides, today i courted with the "depression" and i left $40 poorer.
plus, i feel very powerful with a recent acquisition for fifty usd.
teeheehee

savvy

some people have the option to choose. most of the time they do he smart thing. some times they dont. pity.

logically wrong.

now i just dont understand the logic of some people. haha. this is not meant to be a rant. just plain amusement. i shall state two examples. you be the judge. the parties involved shall remain anonymous.

Case Study 1

"I was looking around for any anime shops so i can buy you the figurines that you want. I went to this shop that sells all those anime things and i asked the shopkeeper if he sold teen titans and he just stared at me. Teen Titans is gay."

"Why? What about those sick hentai, grossly disproportionate figurines that reveal all sorts of things. Are those gay?"

"No."

"Ermm. Why?"

"Because they damn satisfy horny guys."

"And thats not gay? as well as extremely loser and retarded? while Teen Titans is just an entertaining cartoon show?"

"No. Teen Titans is just gay."

"..."

okaee. i guess this instance, the subjects at hand are abit subjective to tastes. however, hentai less that tt in terms gayness? hmm. but the next example clearly shows how dumbe some people can be.

Case Study 2

I was bored so i started Dark Crusade and went to the online servers looking for a quick 1v1 game. i found this random guy and i joined his game.
My Race: Chaos
Dude's Race: Space Marines
after he found out what race i was playing, he started typing me some messages.

D: prepare to be pwned n00b. i'm going to crush you. SM ownz all and Chaos is a piece of shit.
Me: So you damn pro issit?
D: More than you, i saw yur player stats. you've barely played this game. i'm going to crush you.
Okae. i start to get wary. maybe he is a good player and he may win me. But then again, he maybe just acting like a complete jackass. nonetheless, i continued confidently.
4 minutes later, i attacked him with a force of Chaos Space Marines. Dude's response.

D: F*** YOU NOOB! F***ING HEAVY BOLTER SPAMMER! TRY USING SOME REAL TACTICS FOR A CHANGE! F***ING NOOB.

bear in mind, my force was decimating his troops. i decided he was being such a retard, i wanted to pull back and build up a bit before attacking. fine, you accuse me of using one troop type, i shall attack with more.
2 minutes later, i attack again with Chaos Space Marines, Raptors and Bezerkers. He had managed to build up a decent force. but i still slaughtered them. by then, my tanks had gotten out and i proceded on to decimate his base.

Dude's respones:
D: F***ING NOOB! STOP SPAMMING UNITS! ASSF***!
Me: Retard. I'm attacking with more troop types that you.
D: F*** YOU. CHAOS IS BROKEN. ITS COMPLETELY IMBA!
Me: Weren't you saying you were going to crush me and that chaos is shit?
D: F***ING NOOB
Me: If i was the n00b, would i be destroying you and your base?

well. after that, i didnt get any response from him. but this was probably the most hilarious case of retardedness i'd seen in a long time. i wasnt angry, but i won the game highly amused.

haha.

vacuum

finally. the pestilence has been fully purged and i celebrated that occasion today by going training. i was contemplating which of the four ways i could get to the outdoor range in time. but the problem was, they all take roughly the same amount of time, except the fifth way which is to take a cab from home to range but thats out of the question. (:
finally, i decided taking a train to bishan and taking bus 13 to the range was the fastest. but i didnt factor in the jam at bishan? bleah. seriously. someone should invent a teleportation device thingy. Alex Chiu's one doesnt count. it probably doesnt work just like all his other inventions.

anyway, i did get to training on time (surprise surprise). but man, was it hot. i dont think i have ever sweated that much since OBS. not a single cloud in the sky for the first two hours. as a result, training was rather unproductive. to top it off, i lost an arrow. hee. *looks sheepish. so i decided to use the short distance board. i shot like six arrows, and went to retrieve them. OMGWTH! the board was like crawling with strange insects and stuff.
fang kang dubbed those boards as the "living boards" seriously, the straw was probably like decomposing and festering with bacteria. that would explain the stench.
lol. sped off to rj after training where i met alan and reuben. we went j8 for lunch and just talked alot before we parted.

you know, i was just thinking. i was always amazed by vacuum cleaners. i remember when i was a little kid, i used to put my hand on the vacuum cleaner and feel the suction force. but i was wary. i kept imagining myself getting sucked into the vacuum cleaner by accident. well, i'm not to amazed these days but i still dont know how they work.
which reminds me about what happened on saturday? there i was helping to vacuum my room. suddenly, the thing just turned off. i was like huh? i checked the power, and the plug was still plugged in. i tried turning it on again. no use. ermm. so what now? i was like standing there. suddenly, CRACK! POOF! (the sound was like something in between a poof and a bang but i dont know any word for that. do you?) a big black smog burst out of the back of the vacuum cleaner.
i felt pain. alot of pain on my foot. for a minute, i was like jumping on one leg (as if that helps) and like rapidly saying ouch!ouch! it seemed that the smog was very hot and bits of black particles sort off embedded on my right foot that was strategically positioned behind the vacuum cleaner. ouch.
the cleaner was discharging a very bad smell. something like a burning smell? and that attracted the attention of everyone else in the house.
luckily, nothing (except my poor foot) was burning and my mum quickly moved the vacuum cleaner outside the house to any smelly stuff escape outside and not inside our house.

well. how often do you cause a vacuum cleaner to explode? i have no idea how i did it either.

okae fine. i very n00b. cannot vacuum room without something exploding. something bad happened the last time i helped vacuum-ed my room. but i can seem to remember. well, i tell you that cleaner is jinxed. at least now its out of the house. but my foot is still very sore. me thinks it got scalded/heat damage or something. hah. until a new one is bought, its the traditional low tech broom and dustpan. surely nothing can go wrong there can it? guess what, it can.
let me explain. i was sleeping the floor today. after i came home, you know, help my mum and all. i placed the dustpan flat on the floor behind me and sat down for a break in the kitchen. enter my sister. i suan her. she get annoyed, tried to whack her. i too pro and agile to get his, step back to avoid her arm. WHAPOW! operating in pure bugs bunny cartoon style thingy, i stepped on the dustpan and it like fling up and hit me on the back. haha. not very pain, but rather embarrassing. you dont know what just happened? go watch a few cartoons with a rake and you'll get it.

haha. right. anyways. finally got around to watch TT Trouble in Tokyo. i must say, i feel rather sorry for BB. Why? haha. i wont say. but a single sentence i mentioned in one of my earlier posts a few months ago should put things in perspective. cant remember? too bad. serves you right for not reading my posts properly. the Rob and S relationship finally kicked off and i was like ermm. finally. haha. nvm. but R very bully leh. keep pwning BB. judging by personalities of various characters, i declare that Trouble in Tokyo took place after the middle of Season 4 and before Season 5. since R was exceptionally angst, me thinks it was before the big finale of Season 4. hee. i guess no one is interested? hmm.

Oh? Who is BB? go figure. hee.

sdkf

d: have fun in your trip
t: what? i going in the evening
d: have fun in your trip
t: oh. thanks.
ermm. what was that? either it was lousy phone reception or a case of poor hearing. jking jking. but i think i was too blurr to figure out which.

you know something? rail guns and gauss guns actually exist! and they work pretty effectively but only in laboratories or in the garage of some crazy dude. coooool. i want to build one. but that would mean i'd have to somehow acquire a 15000 volt power supply. well, rail gun appear to be practically impractical. so gauss gun it is.
lol. seriously.

and i bet somebody is just dying to know who i thought i saw on the public transport system. hehex.

under estimate?

anyway, after a few days of pestilence i finally recovered enough to deem myself capable of entering an air conditioned room and rapidly click and press alot of buttons on a keyboard. well. yea.
a number of battles took place but the one i'll be referring to now is know as "The GREAT One" well. for starters, i must admit, i vastly underestimated my opponents. as a result, i made several mistakes in the beginning, experimented with some new tactics and all in all, i was rather sluggish. the wierd mouse helped alot in the sluggish-ness. anyway, tt was at the start. but it was enough to make me pay dearly. by then it was pretty much too late. we and my team mante lost the initiative. we were defending. never attacking. eventually, i got crushed and sandwiched. i admitted defeat. it enjoyed the game alot. but it affected me in a sense that the loss was ultimately my fault. so i resolved to strive for the epitomy of tactical genius as demonstrated by the Primarch of the Ultramarines, Roboute Guilliman.

This conflict was known as "The Last One"
same teams but different outcome. rapid build order, quick mobilization of forces, sudden strikes, quick infantry reinforcements coupled with vehicle and artillery support destroyed enemy forward positions. my ally was playing a defensive battle but he had the upper hand.
a practical combination of heavy weapons ensured that all enemy infantry would be reduced to shreds before they could attack.

Deploy the elites in the middle of the first base when he is at his weakest and utterly destroy it.

second was trickier. i attempted to flank the base but the narrow gorge was a choke point and the enemy did well to hold it. i was driven back with my infantry mostly dead. thankfully, my tanks survived so i was not all vulnerable. they held off the initial surge of enemy infantry. infantry was quickly requisitioned. the base was very well defended. it would take at least two waves. first wave destroyed half the base by means of deploying troops by means of drop pods. very crucial but a suicide mission nonetheless. the damage was done. he charged infantry and tanks at my armour outside his base. combined with off map orbital bombardments, my force prevailed. second wave. send in scouts to investigate best site for drop. immediate deployment of troops by means of drop pods combined with an armour charge ended the battle.
so yea. my side won. lol.

on a side note. i was reading some random cards i got and i wonder what happened to the booking? hmm.

kid

yesterday this strange little kid on the bug was laughing and pointing at my earphones since she thought i was retarded or something.

and yesterday, my long time dawn of war compadre gave up on dark crusade. ):

kool guy karthik.

hahaha. i've finally gotten about doing this. haha. finally. this entry is like dedicated to this really hod guy and the real GUITAR GOD of all time [well, at least in rj x)]. NO its not you vivek. haha. drumroll please if you havent figured out who it is. hint: look at the title.

Yes! You're right! its karthik sundar! woo! this guy damn nice arh. knew him since sec 1 (we were in the same class) and it been a hell lot of fun. especially since i started to sit with you during nara's classes? haha. our combined madness ensured we were constantly scolded or sent out of class. fine, sec 1 sec 2 it was mostly my madness. but dont know why in sec 3 you exploded into the madness and crazy scene which such force, i was forced to bow down in you supremacy.
all the anguthu bonguthu binguthu thingies were damn funny. i cant remember, when did we create all those? hmm.
haha. and remember this classic moment?
me: Eh Karthik, Karthik, Karthik, Karthik.. *while shaking him very vigorously
k: WHAT?!!?!?!?
me: milk. *points at cup

haha. those were the days. ouch, but the strangulation was quite painful. haha.
but you were damn nice to me in sec 4 and this year. with all your amazing knowledge, you constantly advised me helped me whenever i was down. thanks alot for all that dude. really helped. you have no idea how much.
pity, this year you took up physics so we ended up not hanging out much this year. only during breaks or at the start of school. haha. i shall promise i shall come for more bleake outings or whatever cos it was so much fun hanging out with you. you keep doing or saying wierd things thats its hard to end up laughing like shit all the time.

sorry arh, now that i look at it, this seems like a slack entry. but its the thought that counts right? haha. happy hols dude and hope we can hang out more often next year or something or maybe during hols too! haha. cheers. (:

EDIT: i forgot to write this in the morning and its been bugging me for the whole day. Thanks for being such a great and awesome friend dude. i'm really lucky to have known a guy like you. hee.

grayscale

Flowers In The Window

When I first held you I was cold
A melting snowman I was told
That there was no one there to hold
Before, I swore, that I would be alone forever more

Oh, wow, look at you now
Flowers in the window
It's such a lovely day and I'm glad you feel the same
Is there love out in the clouds
You are one in a million
And I love you so
Let's watch the flowers grow

There is no reason to feel bad
But there are many seasons to feel glad, sad, mad
It's just a bunch of feelings that we have to hold
And I am here to help you with the load

Oh, wow, look at you now
Flowers in the window
It's such a lovely day and I'm glad you feel the same
Is there love out in the clouds
You are one in a million
And I love you so
Let's watch the flowers grow

So now we're here and now is fine
So far away from there and there is time, time, time
To plant new seeds and watch them grow
So there'll be flowers in the window when we go

Oh, wow, look at you now
Flowers in the window
It's such a lovely day and I'm glad you feel the same
Is there love out in the clouds
You are one in a million
And I love you so
Let's watch the flowers grow

travis is <3 as sherlock said. this one sounded so nice, i couldnt stop myself from listening excessively to it. so sweet. haha.

i just noticed that my wardrobe is predominantly black and white along with a few in betweens. the only dashes of colour here and there were mostly stuff bought quite awhile ago, like in sec two or something. and no, my wardrobe is not just full of school uniforms.
hunted for "depressed" today at far east. bummer. it was closed. on a sunday? hmm. well, looks like i have to go there another day. besides, it seems that Singapore is lousy enough not to sell TT merchandise. i went down to cineleisure to check out that shop with the powerpuff girls thingy inside in hopes that i may finally locate the elusive figurine or something. but bummer again. no such thing.

lol. wonder why training is in the afternoon tomorrow.

fixed.

my hair is fixed! hehe. now its uniformly thick, or uniformly thin if you want to be specific. feels wierd having so little hair. in air con rooms it feels especially cold. and it feels funny while bathing. but hey, i didnt ask for it. haha. the barber just went and cut it all off. besides, at least he didnt charge me anything for the fixation of my hair. lol. hmm. i think i remember someone i know wanting to shave her hair when she went university. lol.

today was a pseudo archery outing. only 5 people. once again our dear kapitan showed he was more than adept at choosing "good" movies. this is number two. remember date movie? we could have settled for step up. haha. but covenant it had to be. at least it spawned some new fantasies for you. haha. after a hiatus of about eleven months, i played pool today. first game 2v2 with 2 As against the other two As (hey, i just realised this. cool stuff.). i screwed up quite badly. hee. so much so that when i took on kapitan by myself and whooped him, my vice capt gave me tips that were meant for kapitan since she couldnt believe i was actually winning by such a big margin after sucking in the first game. thanks alot. haha. jking jking.

ohwell. so as usual, whenever, me and kapitan go home together on an mrt or bus, we usually act like sad, deprived and insecure people conjuring up the strangest fantasies or "stories" in today's case. But today, our strange conversations were conducted at a slightly higher volume today. so at bishan, two girls who we didnt know, suddenly got up, looked at my kapitan and said "YO!" and started laughing like shit. even when they got off the train they kept looking back at us and laughing. strange. who cares. haha.

oh yea. sorry for being so late. but thanks for the cool "ressurection orb" with all the notes pinned on.

missing.

damn. i am just damn unlucky. i better start getting responsible if not i'll just keep loosing mechanized friends, automated acquiantances or digitized data. yep. my phone's gone and i suspect for good. how careless of me. haiz.

and my hair right now is erm, lacking in terms of amount of hair. haha. i bet there'll be a number of people commenting about it tomorrow then i go training. haha.

background music

the reason why i like listening to the half life soundtracks is because its so damn ambience. i think i mentioned it before. i builds up my mood and provides a kind of background music that can suit any mood. haha. i have no idea what i just typed. i tried to expunge my ideas to subash last week while going school. however, he failed to grasp the concept of having your own background music. errm. did that make much sense? not really in my opinion.

anyway, today on the way home, i ambienced myself to sleep while listening to the episode 1 soundtrack. thankfully, syukri called me and woke me up. i checked the outside of the mrt and i saw sun plaza coming into view. lol. syukri save my life. haha. lol. but lucky i only overshot by one station. dont know why i was so tired. maybe the aftermath of pw. plus my group did with fang kang's group and TheVarnus' group. of course sherlock didnt leave me in peace di he? all the time telling me some person was damn chio. i did quite allright i think. though sherlock said i was overly enthu. HELLO EVERYONE! that was just damn funny. haha.

well. today, i was quite insulted too. haha. well maybe not really. i was sitting on a bench in the void deck below my house. it was like 8pm already? yea. i was waiting for something. but thats not the point. some random indian guy came and sat beside me. he turned to me and asked,
guy: are you bangladeshi?
me: what?
guy: are you bangladeshi?
me: no.
guy: indian?
me: yea.
guy: indian citizen?
me: no singaporean.
guy: oh, you worker?
me: err. no. i'm just waiting for someone.
guy: your mother and father?
me: err, yea.
guy: oh. ok.
the guy then takes out a notebook and starts writing something on it. by then i was damn sianzxzxz and i just got up and did my waiting elsewhere.

oh. nothing happening tomorrow except that i need to hand in my i&r

three words

people scare me.
maybe not everyone. but i've never felt more afraid of a particular being after i had such a horrible nightmare. possibly the worst in a long while. brrrrrr.

ohwell. nightmares arent real and they dont come true. *gulp, hopefully.
besides, my words are worth nothing much really. not at much at home either. but it does build up to some amazing "told you so!" moments. but i cant really harp too much on it lest i get bashed up or something. haha. but seriously, certain people ought to listen to me more often. haha.
especially this week when i count a number of "told you so!" moments? lol.
but this week, i learnt i horrible story revolving around a particular guy i know and how he goes about betraying people. man, i thought he was a nice guy. but the extent of his betrayal is so damn unforgivable. how could he even do it? of course i wasnt involved but i saw it coming a mile away. another "told you so!" moment.

anyway, i've been seeing alot of my own blood lately. a string of minor injuries. the one on my knee suddenly open up and start bleeding. again. today while doing some heavy lifting at home, i slam my foot into something i cant remember and ouch. i see a pretty long cut on my foot. owie. its still hurting now. so careless. haha.

watched lady and the tramp two nights ago. very sweet. (: but things arent so simple are they?

ouch

i keep forgetting i changed my damned password! grrr.
and the gash on my leg still hurts. when i wear pants and the fabric comes into the contact with my knee, i feel a significant amount of pain. strange. i wouldve thought and injury as minor as that would've healed by now. how long has it been? a week? hmm.

wonder whats happening on tuesday.

magic

there's magic everywhere but you just need to look out for it. sometimes, even when its right next to you, chances are you'll probably miss it. take for example yesterday, when half of our class decided to buy and take away our lunch and go to the benches near the bubble tea shop to eat them. we came across this strange looking contraption with a seat. i prompty sat on it and started swingeg side to side on it in a rather silly manner. kapitan noted that there was a small slit at the side just big enough for a 50c coin. he reached out for his wallet, took out a coin a put it in.
BEHOLD!
the chair started moving upwards in a circular fashion with me on it! my other friends promptly took out thier phones and started snapping pictures and videos of me (which are much too embarrassing to put here) on the moving chair.
but i think kapitan is a null to all magical acts. because when i got off the moving chair and when kapitan tried to sit on it, the chair stopped moving!
or maybe its because he's just too heavy.
haha.

alternate?

words can describe the level of irritation/sadness i am feeling right now. and to add to it, i keep forgetting i changed my blogger password. damn i havent gotten used to the new one.

bah. i shall go and immerse myself in the bloody and visceral world of warhammer 40000. (@koach, i admit, the story for the game is slightly erm, lame but the whole background is utterly awesome beyond all reckoning)
violent computer games are thereaputic. amidst all the chaos and madness, it is very much possible to be at peace.

damn it. you'd think there'd be enough people with sufficient intelligence to figure it out. besides, if i were dead serious about something, this blog wouldnt be a place to find out such things. *hint hint.

edit: damn i'm good when i'm pissed. after making an exceptional number of headshots and single handedly obliterating entire bases of necron and eldar origin i appear to have slaked my thirst for violence.
ooh. doesnt it sound nice when your speaker keeps blaring HEADSHOT! DOMINATING! MULTIKILL!
erm yea. where was i?

passwords

i think Sherlock wants to murder me for not coming to his house. or at least get some form of revenge? haha. but i didnt say i wasnt coming to your house did i? besides, i really had to start being a minion and do all those medical records before it is too late. so sorry man. hehe.

besides, dont you think its strange? i gave Sherlock the userid and password of my Blogger so he can help me with something. next day after Sherlock showed me many threatening gestures and told me how he was going to use my blogger account to post rubbish, i went home and signed in to msn. suddenly, this alert came out; someone is trying to sign into this account from another computer. now i have an idea on who was doing that. hint; i use universal passwords for everything. haha. no references made.

surprise surprise. moments later after i changed my password, good old Sherlock comes online and tells me this.
"eh. go n do ur work la. ass. don come online all."
hmm. well, at least my password changing skills were inefficient, and now all my accounts remain secure. haha.

Blogger keeps screwing up on me. it gets annoying. doesnt let me post.
me: aiyaa. my blog got problem. haha.
&: yaa u illegal lah. they dont wanna let you blog. too emo.
lol.

and yea. if i say something thats meant to be a secret, i wish it would stay a secret. i really do.

connections.

note: this entry and the one before this was made yesterday but i post it today because blogger screw up. so this entry was written in the context of yesterday

my class is strange. we are all so interconnected in ways i would never have guessed. right now, when you would have expected most people to be happy or relieved with the ending of the school year, there are many who are at thier most vulnerable. i feel thankful for being able to see the bigger picture (or at least some small aspect of it) so that i can now better understand some of my classmates and not just give judgements based on face value. i have seen how delicate the human psyche is.

dont worry. i'll come school tomorrow after training immediately and forsake my team.

~waves~

in case any dimwits forgot, i wrote this yest but posting it today since blogger damn evill.

friday. class outing/barbecue. the day started off reasonable. met up at ps to watch movie. well i found out we met up at ps to have breakfast. sheesh. ok fine. so we walked to orchard after enough of us had gathered. mie insisted we take the train but the more reasonable minds (such as mine) convinced her otherwise. from that point onwards, a strange feeling of unease swept over me. i shrugged it off and tried to socialize (surprise surprise) with the peeps.

the movie was not bad actually. deathnote. it was something completely different from what i had expected it to be. i've never read the manga before but from the poster i had my own ideas but it turned out to be a cool "detective" thingy. L is so much cooler than kira though if you ask my opinion. me and lawrence had our lunch during the movie in the form of a huge tub of mixed popcorn. haha. nice.

nazi and me split up from the rest with our own agenda. by the time we were done, nazi went sgh and i had to go bedok to meet up with the rest alone. i was hoping to catch up but by the time i reached there, they had already boraded bus 31 to east coast park. alone again. so with instructions from alan, i found the busstop and got on 31. guess what, i overshot!
haha. i got off once i found out and crossed the road to the nearest bus stop and waited for like 20 mins before i found out 31 doesnt stop there. strange.
so i backtracked the bus route through some strange abandoned prison like complex. found the stop and got a bus pretty quickly. just tap the ezlink.
uhoh. ezlink no money. check wallet. shit no coins. only notes. i get kicked out by the bus driver at the next stop. ouch. i trekked through the residential areas until i found a petrol station where i bought a bottle of lemon tea i could not open. shit. but i got change. so i quickly got the bus and went ecp. my thumb got abrasions too after changing the very stubborn gears on my bike.

there i cycled for the first time in 4++ years. abit wobbly at first, but i got the hang of it abit. haha. but that wasnt enough for me to avoid falling. ouch. i got a pretty nasty abrasions which still hurts today (no thanks to you senthil. haha.). nvm. cycle until sherlock came. both of us saw jheeva off to watch threesome at rj. then we escorted carol to the barbecue pit. haha. witness a perfect example of carol's amazing intelligence. *controls laughter. haha. jokingjoking.
by the time we got back, barbecue was well underway and i decided to cling onto Sherlock in hopes of his mighty intelligence diffusing into mine.

anyways. we ate up. lotsa thanks go our to our amazing barbecuers and planners. you all should know who you are. i really love you peeps. then it became a sort of communal session. me, sherlock and kapitan went to hang out at the wave breaker (or a pile of rocks?) and just talk. but something happened i cant really remember and we went back and i got abandoned by Sherlock and kapitan. i decided to walk off by myself along the beach. reflecting, thinking and talking to Chaplain TheVarnus (on the phone) at the same time. you've been really awesome listening to my ranting and i thank you. (:

then, i had an idea. a brilliantly silly/stupid idea that would backfire later that night. i wrote a very emozxzxzxz message on the sand near the waves while talking to TheVarnus. i must admit i was rather amused by it. then i wandered around. it seemed like there was some barrier around me. one side had a whole bunch of people. the other had a couple getting all kinky on the beach. so i was pretty much stuck there. haha. but the message was seen and the subject noted. unfortunately the person took it abit too seriously? haha. ohwell. she told Sherlock about it who immediately interrogated me. all this while the rest of our class was probably wondering where we were.
nothing happened. we left at 10:30 pm. me Sherlock and kapitan shared a cab home. we were strangely emo on the way home.

yeap. that was it. hee.

anyway, me and yensiang are having a pseudo og outing where the two of us just hang out and do something. haha. so if any of you want to come by all means. haha. lolll.

and i just want to say, kaswin, you are very daring. (: i'll zip it though. haha.

honestly.

please entertain me by listening to a simple question will you?

i wonder,

was i being referred to?

if so,

thanks (:

i shall now reveal to the world what the K in Kaswin really stands for. get ready people.

kothandasamythinnapparamarajubalakrishnakundalakesiramayanakambarasa
-manimekalagunalaramaraju aswin.

that was a whole lot of drivel. but needless to say, our dear kaptain did get suanned/destroyed by me and mie while we were going to j8 to book barbecue pit for class outing tomorrow. haha. you dont get pissed issit arh? haha. but thanks for telling me your "strange" tastes. besides, our dear kaptain is always getting whacked by females. his explanation? "i too hot lah" yeas indeed. *frantically tries to suppress laughter.

today i kept phasing in and out of reality showing glimmers of conciousness every now and then. plan came up with a cute plan during chem tutorial. something about giving 28 chocolates to each person in class with someone's name written on it. next year, you have to be extra nice to the person who you get.

c: who did you get?
a: michelle. you?
c: really? i got melissa. we are like twins. haha.
lol. wonder who got mine. haha. but sorry plan for suddenly not listening to you when you had a heavy heart. ): oh and sorry for cancelling our appointment to go z'cove today morning ys. haha.

last day of school. whee.

woots.

oh well. i hope people dont mistake me for being a slacker or some lazy unfocussed person. i have been missing alot of trainings in the past month and those that i do go for i'm very slaaagga after and hour or two. but its really unavoidable. especially when you cant drink water. and besides for about a week or so, by health = shit = not in a position to train. even today, i was really relishing the fact of being able to train properly after a month and then something popped up. actually it came up the night before. excuses but i promise i wont miss so much. (: really, seriously, i not slacking or anything.

ohwell. haha. playing soccer on friday against the sji peeps in a raffles v sji match thingy before i got for class outing. yea! finally can eat normally. but i realised how expensive it is. maybe i should just continue fasting. after all, i just got used to it. in fact, today i kept forgetting i can actually drink water normally.

j: eh my life damn boring eh.
a: shutup lah my life how much more boring than yours.
j: no you got your cca damn fun i wish i joined it.
a: so your life so much more exciting got so many hod girls all like you.
j: so but still damn boring arh.
a: i how antisocial. play com at home only. never go out with anyone cos nobody wants to
j: you should go out with us lah idiot

it continues..
j: eh you damn handsome eh
a: eh damn bad to me eh. you are damn handsome hod guy arh.
j: no i'm okay only lah but you are damn handsome.
a: why? you are definitely much more handsome than me.
j: you got facial hair!
a: you oso have what. you just shaved it off!
j: yeah but yours just damn nicer lah. mine damn pucks.


zzzzz..
well. i revisited my z'cove today with yen siang and with our presence, our og doubled in number! omgzxzxzx. but strange, everyone we saw who was from our og when completely a different direction. but it was fun talking to him. so much so we're going there tomorrow too. last day of school mah, who knows if those two people who were already there would be there next year.

its not very simple. in fact the above template can be used for quite a number of incidents this year. you know, inherent flaws and stuff. recent events have left me shaken and fearful. i know there's ought to be nothing to worry about but i cant help but wonder if the same thing will happen to me. but was all that just a mere fabrication? hmm. the mind boggles at the thought. then again, who am i kidding? i still kena electrocuted every now and then. the whole family thing is screwed up, well, at least my involvement in it. its always me. in the end, square one looks very lucrative and beckons me all the time but i always wonder if its worth it.

server down.

well. blogger is utterly evill. thanks to some screw up somewhere yesterday, i lost my super long post as it was being composed. i was so annoyed, i didnt feel like redoing it and i dont think i ever will since its just not meant to be. haha. i see sherlock too suffered the same fate. (falling in love = suicide of the heart? haha. pictionary is fun.)

i'm feeling a significant amount of jealousy right now. and resentment. its mainly derived from my inability to do anything and appear utterly noobish. well. i mean, when you see yourself losing favour with someone you've been getting along with quite allright its abit erm, sad. and then you look at the other people who are doing things so perfectly, you (at least me) feel damn sianzxzxzxz. oh well, on the bright side, i escaped all charges on monday.

brace yourself, three hour pw tomorrow. haha. i feel pretty sick. if it deteriorates further, i might leave school earlier of smthing.

post mortem? again?

ohwell. my first post mortem was very rudely interupted. that was why it seemed to end pretty abruptly. haha. besides, i had to remove an entire section to ensure i don't get utterly pwned. seriously. but i dont think anyone saw it anyway. hee. shall mention more abt it in a more ambiguous manner the next time. haha.

ohwell. buzz of gordon freeman. seriously. you know you did hundrrreddd time better. haha. MIT physics damn good already lah. HEV suit can fit alyx inside damn hod guy lah. haha. lol. but sorry for erm, lying to you on thursday. wasnt in the mood to tell you. i still havent gotten over it and i probably wont for quite awhile. hee.
see. i cant help but feel jealous at some people. not you gordon freeman or should i say gordon vivek. grr.

oh yea. post mortem? haha. heck. only thing abit wasted was econs but hey! got the hols to work through. then maybe next year i'll be the econs pope! just like how sherlock was the physics pope. the folks at home are harping (in a rather mocking way on the big D but at least i passed. :D

so on the schedule now is dark crusade. and lotsa shopping for clothes? haha. saw some nifty stuff at far east when i went out after a movie. damn funny.
me: eh. look at that shop name. "depression." damn emo arh. lets go see.
J: set arh!

but seriously, that shop was quite cool. the design i mean. i saw a rather nice shirt i would've liked to buy. and i saw a shirt with a "pig head" (the literal meaning. i pig's head) sandwich printed on in. haha. i wonder what would happen if i wore it and showed my dad. haha. but TheVarnus saw a guy wearing a cool Azrael shirt on the street. omg larh. i wish i had seen it. i wish i had one myself.

i have been a rather naughty person in the past couple of days to say the least. got guilt written all over my face and now i think its going to catch up with me on monday. hopefully i'll have some sort of deliverance eh? prevent me from getting destroyed by a few people.
B: you changed alot eh you.
sorry lah. cant help it. but i really really really hope i'll escape everything on monday. and hopefully, as icing on the cake, my tutors will have nice things to say about me on ptm. haha. its not as if i've been such a bad boy? haha. lol. the irony is so funny.

random stuff before i go off.
pariah: death has come for you at last.
governor lukas: the necrons are here men! drive them back to thier tombs!
pariah: it is your men that go to thier tombs, governor.
governor lukas: comissar! come in!
pariah: we have purged your bootlick governor, you will be next.
governor lukas: damn you monster!
pariah: the Nightbringer has come for you Governor
governor lukas: hold the line men! push these monsters back to the hell they crawled out of!
pariah: so much fear. so much noise.
man. i love those cutscene dialogues.

post mortem.

i just realised how erm wierd i sound when i am in the process of freakking about something (dark crusade anyone?) and at the same time feeling rather ill and near destroyed by whatever pestilence lurking in air (the thing growing inside me suddenly stopped growing). needless to say, it all depended on how i set my priorities. like sleeping early so i wont be so zombie at school or staying awake for a few extra hours playing dc. wells. yesterday, i chose the latter. today maybe not considering i've got chem mock spa and pw dry run.

ohwell. how was promos maybe? it was cool. did better that cts. in fact, it spells out the first part of abbadon's name. if you dont know who abbadon is, its okae cos its from wh40k. haha.

smog

i had two aims today. to go training and to get a copy of dark crusade. both aims were unaccomplished. stupid haze. i had a rather awkward feeling today one that could be described as
"it feels like something's growing in my lungs"
besides, a very bad sore throat and a very feverish feeling rendered me useless and subject to taunts such as wuss. haha. i knew that was coming. hahahaha. but i witnessed a classic moment of stupidity by kaswin. i shall mention more about it when i am allowed to.

and damn it. i shldve gone sim lim square to get dark crusade. but then again, there were things growing inside me. so i decided to check cyberactive near my house and i was sorely disappointed. ):

nevermind. i shall get it tomorrow!

rising

well. in a burst of emotion and passion yesterday, i made a grevious fluff error. horus didnt forsake mankind. he merely thought the emperor(the guy who rules over all mankind) was not fit enough and devoted himself to the powers of chaos. its sorta like devil worship in the most superficial sense. ohwell. i bet by now, anyone who is actually reading this would be highly uninterested.
so moving on. haha.

now about that obifold thing. at long last i have managed to extract and name the entire soundtrack of half life, half life 2 and half life 2 episode one. damn i feel accomplished. the sound track's not bad really.
"The music for the long-awaited follow-up is a mixture of dark, eerie, futuristically gothic electronic ambiance that is less a combination of actual songs than it is an amalgamation of aural mood swings, most of which reside in the deepest, darkest pits of the imagination."
cool. i find that to be quite true though. but the music is best experienced while playing. pity most of the tracks are quite short.

but orbiforld? haha. its the name of my favourite-est track. LG orbifold. hmm. wonder what LG is. besides. almost all the titles are something to do with physics. in some wierd way. well its probably cos of gordon freeman's MIT degree in physics? lol. no wonder vivek damn smart arh. haha. lol. unrelated. but my overall physics knowledge has "increased" because i tried to find out what those damned track names mean. haha.

my weekend was pretty normal as compared to the rather happening some people had. haha. i did get electrocuted quite badly. hehex. not my doing though. haha. but thats not very important. good news is, i'm getting dark crusade tmr! bad news is, err well, yea you shld know if you're from the same school as me.
R: you look like the kind that moodswings
hmmmmmmmm.

oh right. yea. where was i? company of heroes. haha.

horus

man. the book i'm reading now is possibly the greatest fictional book of irony i have ever read. and its more of the painful irony. especially since i know the outcome and all the "fluff" behind the whole trilogy of books. "horus rising" is just the first. it just goes to show how big an impact warhammer 40k has had on my life. a pretty big impact i'd say. so much so i'm feeling sad as i read the book.

How could something so pure become so tainted and corrupted beyond all recognition? lust for power? revolution? but all it took was one single decision by horus which led to the bloodiest galactic civil war that threatened to bring about the extinction of humanity. it spoke of the primarchs or demi-gods in thier own right. pure, righteous and ever loyal to humanity. the mightiest and most favoured of them all was horus. after reading the book, i hated horus even more for forsaking humanity. but then again. its still just sci-fi. nothing real. besides, it probably sounds very strange to those who dont know warhammer 40k. ohwell. haha.

hmm. couldnt find a bigger pic. but still. awesome book.

and i wonder what orbifold means.
ahh. wikipedia is always ready to help.
In topology and group theory, an orbifold (for "orbit-manifold") is a generalization of a manifold. It is a topological space (called an underlying space) with an orbifold structure. The underlying space locally looks like a quotient space of a Euclidean space under the action of a finite group of isometries.
now what the hell is that supposed to mean?

WAH!

hawhaw. i think i kena pwned. but hey. i think i asked for it. hahahahahahahahahahahaha. but anyways, i wasnt making any references that i was being referred to(lol). i just thought it over as instructed and came to a conclusion. haha. that is all. no harm/malice intended. i guess the ambiguity made it a wee bit open to interpretation? ah whatever. that was yesterday. NOW is of greater concern.

and right now, i am just drooling over my com while reading the comments of all those people at relicforums. especially after they released the uber-cool omgwtfpwnzxzxzxz necron wallpaper. its unfair i tell you! why is singapore so far away from the states such that it takes forever for them to ship bloody Dark Crusade here!?!?!?!?
three days! it should be here by now. haha. but some dude on the forums calculated(by some arcane means) and concluded that it will be here tomorrow!

and until then, i have CoH to keep me company. but damn bad to me eh. yesterday never let me play mission 5. grrr. i'll have to tackle it today. hah. ongnardo has decided to join the clade of warhammer 40k freaks? he wants to borrow my DOW + WA. hopefully i'll remember to bring it on monday. (:

premonitions

it is very amazing. i saw the choice that i would have to make today in my dreams. although, the setting was probably different(i cant really remember), the crux of the matter remains the same. should i go out with my friends or should i abandon them for something significantly important(no, its not playing half life 2). well, i clearly remember the last chilling moment of the dream which woke me up at 8:15am in the morning. bummer. i overslept and i had training at 9am. bad start but the dream set me thinking.

of course, by now there'd be at least a bunch of people who'd be rather disappointed with me. oh well. like i care. haha. but the moment i entered the range, one question has been asked very persistently. "are you coming?"
of course that didnt really help my decision making process alot. but i kept shrugging them off with the i havent decided yet reply(it really was true to some extent). hah. but i think subconciously i had already made up my mind. ironically, it was just before our vice cap called out for more team dynamics and team bonding by means of outings. haha. speaking of that, i couldnt help but wonder if i was included in the references. but if i was, i will show defiance! hah. i most certainly train with goals in mind. and i have been able to achieve at least some thanks to a rather uncharacteristically helpful koach. (: (wonder if you can lend me lego star wars 2 though. haha)
classic statement: you have done something right!

ohwell. i will make the fullest effort not to slip down the hole i just crawled out of.
i guess i cant say much else about the whole thing. (probably wasnt even misses at all). just hope that everyone had fun there. (:

oh yea. and in case you're wondering, the only reason why i am so concerned/down is because i am not pro enough like you to recover or find replacements for what i've lost.

ipv

i think its rather fun emailing my bro in law. but sadly the whole thing is taking up to much time and fraying alot of nerves here. its unsettling but how i wish it were avoidable.

white

well. this is two days late. but better late than never. hee. just wanted to say thanks to all those cool people who actually remembered. haha. especially the twelve (i dont know? too many? haha. but you all know who you are) dudes who so sneakily acquired a copy of hl2 and gave it to me in a rather sneaky way. thanks peeps. that made my day. haha. damn nice to me arh.

well, and even though i didnt really want it, thanks jheeva hod guy for publicizing it to everyone and extracting wishes from them even from C! yea!. oh yea, and thank you prabs and jheeva for surprising me at potong pasir and effectively prevented me from training since i didnt want to abandon you two. haha.

Well, Chaplain TheVarnus did surprise me when i went his house. it wasnt the best day of my life, but definitely one to remember for quite awhile. especially after the crucial choice i made yest that left me with a rather dazzling white object. hehee.
and now, i have Company of Heroes in my posession to! and Dark Crusade this week! muahaha. half life episode 1 too! omg. and i suspect there are a few more things awaiting me when i go school tomorrow. haha.

but wasted. electric never wish me.
sorry karthik, i'll write your special post soon! been delaying it for quite awhile. but not to worry! oh, thanks in advance for the cds. hee.

aww. school tomorrow. and a long day. was beginning to get used to the whole holiday mood. haha. i'll have to leave training early so that i wont be late. plus, i have to do chem spa skill a! remember to do it everyone! haha.

sneaky sneaky.

ohwell. today isnt exactly a great day for commemoration posts considering today was an extremely shock and awe day. but that is unimportant in the current context. i have decided to shove those aside and keep my word. i shall now preach to everyone as to how amazingly fantastic this friend of mine called jheeva is. see jheeva i damn nice to you arh. hehee

to sum it up, he is the epitomy of sneakyness. haha. damn smooth and witty lah. but i've had the supreme priveledge of verbally outsmarting him just once.

j: eh i damn girly boy eh.
me: yah you damn lady's man arh. everybody want to insert you.
haha. for the next few minutes we were going damn in depth by describing the evolution of girl to lady and boy to man. haha. rofl. nvm.
of course jheeva damn good friend arh. damn nice to me. mostly when ihtimam is around but hey, that beats nothing. haha. but you still damn bad to me eh. draw picture of dog with vivek on your gc and say its me. haha.
despite that, you were still damn nice to me arh. i remember at the start of the year you like "i support azrin in all his endeavours" then you gave me brilliant advice eh? haha. sneaky sneaky. even now, you did help abit but mainly its cos i nvr really approach you for assistance. but sorry about that. i just felt more disturbed this time. haha

you got damn god like aura lah. maybe its cos you're gp god but everytime you tag, there's a surge of people tagging on my board. it has yet to fail. so tag dei, i bet you never read for like damn long lah. and you damn bad to yourself arh. obviously got hundreds of people like chasing after you arh. then you keep saying,

"nobody wants me, everybody hates me,"
in a damn irritating voice lah. hod guy. haha. and dont worry dei. i'm sure you'll get good results for promos. confirm can get promoted lah. dont need to be so anxious. besides got all you friends damn nice to you cos you're damn hod guy. haha.
just relax everything will turn out fine.
cheers and thanks for being such a great, awesome and not to mention highly sneaky sneaky friend.

now i need to do one for karthik. haha.

heroes.

z: icic. you are one cool hero. you would rather kill your emotions to let the one you like go away with your own senior(that we all do not like)

rofl. i dont think the person being described above deserves that praise. firstly, he's totally uncool. and secondly, perhaps it was more of an inability to do anything. he may have had the intention, but seriously, he's just too screw up to do anything but rather, just leave everything as it is. but then again, that was a long time ago. he might have changed.me.
quite strange. i was playing half life today. finally got around that silly little puzzle that gave me the headache yesterday. there was this giant fan. i turned it on and it started spinning really fast. but i just didnt know what to do after that. going back the way i came from would yield nothing and maneuvering around the underparts of the giant fan would just blow me into the deep abyss where i'd fall to my death. i tried to fight the fan, guns blazing and stuff but i'd always end up getting disected by the spinning blades. i felt pissed and annoyed. then, i figured it out. i climbed up some obscure ladder in an obscure corner and i just leapt directly onto the fan. for the first few seconds, gravity took over and was plummetting toward the spinning blades. then, my descent slowed and soon i was being pushed upward by the strong wind generated by the fan. i was flying upwards. higher and higher and i saw my target, my destination. a little hole that was boarded up by some planks. yess. i was close, just a while more.
and then, i remembered something. SPLAT! my head crunched into the wood planks and then, i started falling. falling falling falling. i couldnt stop it for some reason, it was like the fan lost its power.
SCREUNCH! i get disected. lol.i feel so much like that.
i wish someone would just buy me that half life 2 goty edition. then, i'd be able to play half life source and cs source as well as own an original copy of hl2. lol. i was so close to buying it today. then i stopped short. ohwells. hope your new graphics card works brother Chaplain TheVarnus. else our pilgrimage to the adeptus mechanicus headquarters would have been in vain. but you seemed rather keen on INSERT-ing with the hod girl on the box. haha. power box! bish.

and just to be fair to the other race in Dark Crusade.


Tau ownzxzxzxz. for the GREATER GOOD! yeah! but not as much as necrons or the Emperor's finest. only a few more days left. haha.

r

bb: hey, its me. i'm sorry
r : for what?
bb: i'm sorry he lied to you like that.
r : i know, but even though he did, he was the only one i could talk to, the only one that made me feel like i was not, creepy. and dont you say i'm not creepy.
bb: you're way creepy, but that doesnt mean you have to lock yourself in your room and stay alone. you think you're alone but you're not.

woo. first day of promos already i think my day has been rather productive. did some reading in the morning (guess what? i was reading chem notes?!?!?! wish i did that more before promos). and then i watched a hell lot of tv. got about editing and categorizing all those tt episodes in the dvd hardisk. soon i shall have all 60 episodes ready to burn. haha. of course i did watch a few. spellbound was such a great episode. the usuall angsty r was so vulnerable lorh. so cute. esp when she went and hug bb. lawl.

but shit. half life is abit hard lorh. the puzzles are a wee bit irritating. especially the current one. keep retrying until i kena headache and stop for awhile. rofl. i am so looking forward to dc and CoH! haha. pity i got no money and am now highly dependant on my superiors. haha.


Dark Crusade! necrons will own all! possibly the greatest expansion ever??? haha. soon. shipping on october 9th. praise the emperor.


cool art. the game is equally cool. like seriously. but each time i played it at e lan shop i kinda end up feeling abit sad. sure, i've played more violent games b4. but company of heroes is too real. real people did die on the beaches of normandy or or the villages in france or in the forests of bastogne. abit too real. the physics, the sound, the shouting. but the ads for the game do make me slightly angry. but then again, in the end its still a game. but its important to remember the real people who fought and died in those places.

oh yea. TRAINING tomorrow! wheeee. cant wait. i shall go again on friday too!

haha. couldnt resist. she looks so happy. haha. roflmao.

ps. dont worry jheeva, i'll do your special entry real soon. not right now, but now in a relative sense. dont worry, you're damn hod guy and everyone wants to know you.

sherlock

as sherlock the genius said before, you post lyrics of some remotely related song when you're too lazy to blog but you still want to blog. so here goes.

Shine
Mr Big (quite a cute name. haha)

I never really feel quite right
I don't know why, all I know is there's something wrong
Every time I look at you, you seem so alive

Tell me how do you do it, walk me through it
I'm following every footstep

Baby on your own you take a cautious step
Do you wanna give it up?

But all I want is for you to SHINE
Shine down on me
Shine on this life that's burning out

I say a lot of things sometimes that don't come out right
And I act like I don't know why
I guess a reaction is all I was looking for

You looked through me, you really knew me like no one has EVER looked before

Baby on your own you take a cautious step
Do you wanna give it up?

But all I want is for you to SHINE
Shine down on me
Shine on this life that's burning out

I know, I know, girl you got something

SHINE (shine it on to me)
Shine down on me (I wanna feel it)
Shine on this life that's burning out

Baby on your own you take a cautious step
Do you wanna give it up?

But all I want is for you to SHINE
Shine down on me (just show me something)
Shine on this life that's burning out (you give me something that I never
know)

Shine (it gonna kill me if you give something away)
Shine yeaaah (I wanna know what's going in on your mind)
Shine on this life that's burning out

lolzxzx. its from the soundtrack of the original hellsing series. its in the end credits. but its quite awkward to have this song after an hour of bloody vampire hunting violence. hmm. but its nice anyway.

but sherlock more than proved his intellectual abilities yesterday night. after studying bio i went online to tell him about a strange dream i had.

me: yest night i had damn wierd dream
S: telll
me: haha. one part of it got you and _ like together and thanking me for some reason i cant rmbr
S: okay. thanks anyway.
me: haha. lolzxzxzx.
S: ya so like do smhtn la thn we get thgr thn i thank u
me: haha set arh.

then we talk some more stuff.

S: oh no nazir don so sad can.
me: i not sad lah
S: now u must try n find the flaws. yeah!
me: just confused and wierd.

lol.

S: u shld talk to &
me: aiyaa. dowannah. i'll feel damn awkward.
S: aiya wont la.
me: but i damn shy.
S: tskkk. last time i nv talk to her also one. thn after sangamam i added her. shes gd at this stuff.
me: but you damn hot guy. everyone want to talk to you. i damn unhot.
S: what does hotguy have to with anything. idiot.

then we change topic again.

S: _ is just like a fancy. i talk to him alr. he allow me to like %.
me: he making you abit happy only.
S: Bollocks.
me: aiya. i like the girl in my dp (before you comment on my fickle mindedness or my sanity you should check what my msn dp is. lol.)
$ oso just a fancy

by this time i was going crazy and i decided i should go offline to study. in the end i couldnt do tt cos TheVarnus gave me a call and we talk until 12:48 am, i think.

but Sherlock damn smart eh. haha. but thanks anyway. (:
only 2 more days then BANG BANG! BOOM! RATATATATA! PWHOAR! BISH! FREEM! ZAP ZAP! DISHOOM! WHOOSH! ZOOM! WHACK! SLASH SLASH! BIFF! KABOOM! DIE DIE! TWANG! SPLASH! CLICK CLICK! BEEP BLEEP BLEEP! RING RING! THUCK! ONWARD TO GLORY!
roflmao.
i got vendetta against bio. i crave revenge after bio treacherously killed me in cts. now i wont rest until i pwnzorzxzxzxz it.

elucidation.

Ouch, I am damn damn damn hungry. The first few days are always the worse. And it doesn’t help that its promos tomorrow! whee! Good luck everyone for your promos! a wee bit less to the physics people since they end erm 3 days earlier? lol. No matter. Bio rocks. haha. but hey, chem. ownzxzx all. Even though tutorial 13 scared the shit out of me. haha.

oh yea. and sherlock, you just need to study your reactions and conditions before it all becomes clear. ;) sometimes its mindless junk anyway. hey, my chem isnt that good. but i wont say i never study. haha. in case you're interested he just sms me to tell me he nvr study on wed and thurs. lawl.

fasting rocks my socks.

pre-emptive? hmmm.

hey. now that i think about it, its supposed to be "hard left! HARD LEFT!!" but nvm. "hard right! HARD RIGHT!!" sounds minutely better.
actually, it may have been a pre emptive strike. hawhaw. nvm. shock and awe, ooh, aaah. all that economics must be getting to my brain. haha. that would actually make alot of sense? anything is sensible after you've watched an episode of "Ed, Edd and Eddy" man, is that show retarded. seriously.
and i watch hellsing ova 2 inbetween the mounds of economics. cool effects. especially the hellhounds. haha. alucard ownzxzxzx.

actually, it all looks abit fake nowadays. maybe its the truth finally coming to me, or the product of an overly competent imagination. haha. i think my proudest works are my fantasy worlds. haha. if only i could find a way to go inside them.

woo. that must have been the most incoherent post this year. oh wells. back to economics.

hard right! HARD RIGHT!!

well. nobody ever said anything about full scale massive deployment/ all out war/ shock and awe/ rapid advancement. i was nicely content in letting it be a more stealth/recon mission. of course things took a bad turn. some blithering idiot got spotted. bang bang bang. my troops died. like shit.

my adamantium hull was dented and worn. my power fist badly needed servicing and cleansing after smiting the daemons of slaanesh in the toilet last saturday. my psycannon was running out of ammo fast. things did not look very good.

i needed help. and i wasnt ashamed to ask for reinfocements or additional intelligence reports that better described the situation. i quickly composed a dossier of information in a harmless postcard that was meant for the most reliable of my inside contacts. all i had to do was to give it that insider. the grim faced judge. that was my last hope it seemed in begging for a cease fire. something went wrong in the delivery. my arm just froze in ice cold fear. the dossier still lies in my file. i had decided (well, it was really my fear that did the deciding).

of course the retreat wasnt so easy either. there i was walking down the relatively dark corridor with a few neutral companions in hopes of blending in and escaping undetected. i was wary but optimistic. fat hope.
ENEMY SPOTTED!! RANGE TEN FEET! ETA 5 SECONDS!!

omg. what should i do? what should i do? was i spotted yet? if i wasnt i would be very soon. into the stairs? no, still too visible. aha. i spotted my salvation.

hard right! HARD RIGHT!!! damn you! your incompetency will be the end of me!
where? WHERE?
into the toilet!

bang! i collided pretty painfully with one of the neutral companions. but that did not stop my headlong charge and i smashed through the wooden doors. then i forgot the resolution i made last saturday and prompty went about using the facilities. phew. that was a close one. there was still hope of escaping alive.

i carefully sneaked into the mess halls where i patiently waited for 2pm when i could collect the necessary documents that would permit me to leave that blasted facility. i scanned the area for my inside agents. i found him but he was not quite what i expected.

b: are you the hedge?
me: eh. what?
b: come on man. are you the hedge?
me: i dont know what you're talking about. i am not a hedge?
b: eh come on lah. be a man.

if you are as puzzled as i was, i dont blame you. the time was right. the clock had ticked 1:55 pm. my resistance comrade had sat down to tie her shoelaces or something. and then it happened. i tried to look as calm as possible. enemy contacts passed within five paces of me. one smiled (in what intentions i have no idea). the other, gave a stone faced look. half smirking half judging (or you could say i have no idea either).

BANG!
Sniper! OWowOw! me arm!
What! whats wrong with you?
Fool! next time, shoot yourself and rid me of your stupidity. now stop gawking around and help me up damn it.

after a few more hours of sneaking around, whatwas left of me finally reached the demilitarised zone. a temporary respite in a year full of struggles.

oh. surely i deserve a promotion to a gk dreadnaught, brother TheVarnus? i have stared down the face of chaos and left with my sanity intact. lol.

blur 3

i meant to write someone a thank you card. but i decided against it as i'm not sure of the possible consequences or side effects. i guess i am more wary now of whatever i do. lol. wish i was a couple of months ago.

blur 2?

microsoft zune white looks so lovely. hee. i dont know which is nicer, white video or white zune. not as if i'm going to buy either anyway. the rational side of me is still damn puzzled. but heck maybe i should just stick to my retro notebook.

blur.

for any people who dont know what fubar stand for, seriously, you all should watch more world war two shows. especially stuff like saving private ryan. haha. it stands for f***ed up beyond all recognition. easy.

i have conquered maths up to topic nine. only one more before i am fully prepared for promos! (for maths that it)
and irritatingly enough, twenty four hours after i've sent that sms, got people asking me that question i am slowly growing to hate. bahh.

_

This past two days have been fubar. repeat after me, fu... bar... three huge ordnance bombshells and there's still the rest of the weekend left. alot can happen.

I never realised it. pretty ironic eh? just when I wanted to tell some guy, about my biggest flaw, I get utterly destroyed because of it. any ounce of self esteem I have left after a ravenous lion attack was phased out. funny isnt it. its not the end result that mattered but its more of how it happened. of all the most retarded things to do, I chose to do what I did at a very unlucky time. and I think I paid quite big time for it though the rational side of me still remains puzzled. Everything may still be perfectly normal, but I'm not sure if I have sufficient willpower to overcome my subconscious mind. plus, there is still that never ending feeling of guilt at the realization that everything that happened was your bloody fault. so much like tzeentch.

"what have you done?"
"I merely gave you the tools to destroy yourself."

but even while I was swirling down the abyss, after getting headshot just after deplyment, it was only the good Chaplain TheVarnus that noticed my mood. while I refused to budge, the two hours before chem h3 engaging in some interesting discussion and the 1.5 hrs during chem h3 talking about necrons and stuff really made me very much more stable.

sorry plan for bothering you today too after yesterday's sms convo but I was just so traumatized after this afternoon. Its not everyday you nearly get assaulted in the toilet by a *ahem*. god, I was shit scared but thanks for somehow making me feel better. (:

but its quite unfair how I have been misunderstood. circumstances couldn't have helped me much. the innocently dumb things you do will come back to haunt you. this is a perfect example. at least I can gain solace in knowing that I alone know the full story. but I definitely shouldve been a lot smarter. i keep saying i've learnt my lesson but nothing seems to change each time. lalala.i've as good as lost one, but will i lose the other?
and as yensiang said,
"you are damn stupid."

beast

i knew it. kin wai would one day be the end of me. now he's out to murder me. hah. bring it on kinwai! hahaha. we'll see if really can kill me. school has become a scary place. lots of crazy beats and creatures roaming around. just yesterday, i encountered a rare breed of lioness previously seen and documented in Miss A's highly informative site.

me: you going training is it?
Lioness: yea, What?! What you looking at?
me: err. nothing. have fun training.

it could have ended at that, but me being the silly bugger that i am, decided to tease the lioness just before it was going to hunt. that proved to be very fatal at the beast lashed out with her claws, roaring away. i barely escaped with my self esteem near destroyed. loll.

me: go home and study. go home and mug.
Lioness: YOU GO AND TRAIN! YOUR FORM IS CRAP AND ITS GETTING WORSE! YOUR SHOOTING SUCK! YOUR.. (at this point, i decided to evade the beast)

ouch. that was really below the belt. even if she didnt mean it (somehow, her face did not seem to tell me this), it wasnt a very nice thing to say. i wanted to bravely defend myself and attempt to slay the creature. however, taking into consideration the fact that she had won medals for shooting many x's and hunting attention.
i decided to back off unnoticed in hopes that i'll make her think that she was shouting to noone and therefore look ridiculous. ouch. i went home with my nerves stinging.

hurrah! me and plan planning to play the mmorpg city of heroes/villains together after promos! after intense debate, we decided to play as heroes since by doing so, i'd be able to create a dark psychic female hero character called raven! omgomg.

me: raven so dark, powerful and angsty
k: raven not angsty wad.
me: yes she is, she got problems with her dad lorh.
k: thats not counted lah.
b: azrin likes angsty girls.
me: exciting wad.
k: whoa.

roflmao.